Writing at length about how I had let impatience take over me at several instances in the last couple of days has made me realize that not only was I getting stressed out unnecessarily, but I should also not let myself get back to my old ways even for fleeting moments. Here is a quick self-reminder on how I should get back full-fledged to my mindful talking ways:
- Be mindful of how much you talk and, more importantly, the way you talk. The words should come out at a slow pace and in a soft voice. Lengthy conversations with me being the prime talker is a strict no-no.
- Do not shout – not even across the room talking. Sometime, last month, my daughter said, “I could hear your voice from the other room.” That is precisely how much the volume of my voice shouldn’t have been.
- Do not talk in a whispering voice.
- Do not sing or hum.
- Do not polambify (Don’t I love Tanglish!) / rant about anything – be it something mundane or something life-altering.
- Be completely relaxed.
I already have these written on a post-it on my fridge in the kitchen and read through it on a daily basis or whenever I feel I am not sticking to any of the points. Writing these here will help me be a lot more mindful.
As an aside, don’t these points ultimately boil down to having immense patience and improving your patience level with every passing moment?
The moment I wrote the last post here on how I was in a relaxed mode, I knew that Murphy would soon strike. After all, smooth rides don’t last forever in life. My daughter had her full-blown crying spell on Thursday morning and got delayed to school by half an hour! But I would give myself a thumbs-up for handling it calmly. But I too was to soon stop being calm.
The last three months have been a self-challenging period when I had to be mindful of the way I reacted to every single thing happening around me. In order to talk less and, more importantly, to talk in a soft voice and not shout/yell and not show impatience/anger, I had to take things easy. I had to keep doing a self-counselling on a regular basis that it was okay if the child didn’t eat a meal properly or it was okay if the siblings continued to fight and make each other cry or it was okay if we got delayed to school by a few minutes. It meant slowing down, pausing. And that’s when I realized that all I had to do was pause to let my kids be kids!
How many times was I reminding my daughter to swallow her food and not keep it inside her mouth without biting? How many times was I asking her to stop dancing around while I was combing her hair? How many times was I reminding her to walk fast lest she gets delayed to school? How many times was I asking her to stop playing and come back home lest her brother starts feeling hungry and starts becoming restless?
I asked my daughter who was the ‘Sir’ who was outside the school yesterday and my 2.5-year old son replies, “Dinosaur!” Such is the fascination he has for dinosaurs!
Imagine how he would feel when he comes to know that dinosaurs are now extinct. He wouldn’t even believe me if I tell him that because, earlier this year, while visiting the Singapore zoo, he wanted to see a dinosaur and to his surprise and ours too, we got to see not one, but many huge dinosaur models all moving its neck and making scary sounds, fascinating my son to no end.
At 1 pm on today’s sunny afternoon, the day so far had been smooth and having sat with my son for the last 3 hours, I thought that I should now get on with the household chores and started doing the dishes first. After all, the little one seemed so busy playing with his toys that he didn’t even look at me and I thought it was time to start tackling one chore after another.
Looking at our toys, dolls and games collection, even I am surprised at how we managed to not own one of these Play-Doh sets so far. During the June holidays in Madras, my daughter became so fascinated by the Play-Doh kitchen set ads on Nick Jr that she went into such a pestering mode that there was no way I could evade buying it.
I am a lazy person. I have the best of my sleep after 5 am and I always struggle to wake up in the morning. Snoozing along with the snooze of the alarm is how my day begins everyday. I can spend hours together doing nothing but lazily browsing blogs after blogs or newspapers after newspapers or surfing TV channel after channel. I love sitting with a cup of coffee in my hand and reading newspaper till the coffee becomes cold.
Yesterday was one of those days when overcome with all the exhaustion of the last one week, I would have preferred to just stay indoors and do nothing. But waking up after 8 am yesterday, I decided not to let laziness take over me and I told my husband that we should go to some temple in the morning so that we can have the rest of the day free. He gently reminded me that it was already morning and the temples would have opened long back and if I take the usual time I take to get myself and the kids ready, we would reach the temple just as it closes. 😛 So we made plans to have our breakfast outside, quickly got ready and left.
As the saffron threads swirled around in the semiya payasam filling the air with its aroma and lending the payasam its rich saffron tinge, I felt happiness engulfing me as I realized that I have made the yummiest of semiya payasam yet again.
From generously adding ghee while roasting the semiya to a golden shade to letting it get properly cooked before adding sugar and letting the milk reach its boiling state again and again just so it would reduce to that level where the payasam would be creamy in texture and finally, adding in the right amount of elakkai powder, I have almost perfected each stage just so I could get that delicious payasam. Above all, ah! those saffron threads oozing out their richness to the few spoonfuls of warm milk in which they are floating around waiting to be added to the payasam just so they could share their exotic flavour to it! Heavenly!
Today being Vijayadasami marks the last day of Navaratri. The day before the start of Navaratri, there I was, busy cleaning and clearing my poojai shelves, washing the brass idols and polishing my silver kunguma chimizh (kumkum holder) and chandana pElA (sandal paste holder) and getting other things ready for Navaratri.