Ok so it has been about 12 days since I wrote something here. And how have these 12 days been? The first few days of August were nice and relaxing. But, last week, there were several instances when I was whining aloud a bit, though I did cut it short within a few words. But I definitely did not do it in a loud voice. So, yes, I am improving. But, nowadays, I feel that I am talking a bit more than I should be.
Last week saw both my kids falling sick with fever which meant sleepless nights for the kids and me and crying spells from them. Add to it those rainy days. It meant we couldn’t get our much-needed outdoor play time. So, yes, we were all in a bit of a lousy mood. A school holiday in the middle of the week which turned out to be a rainy day further added to the lousiness. Hmmm, so were these the reasons why I was in a bit of a whining mode myself? No proper sleep meant there was a need to keep at least a bit of a conversation going all through the day (and night too!) with my kids. At two different instances during our nowadays brief-phone-calls, my sister reminded me that my volume level and the tone of my voice needed to be minded.
There were those good moments too with regard to my progress on improving my patience levels and controlling my anger and stress levels. When my daughter had her full-blown crying spell last week, I remained calm throughout, did not raise my voice and did not make the mistake of giving any advice to her. I always get so much stressed out in trying to find ways to calm her down as soon as possible that I would keep talking with her all through the crying spell. It would either be ‘well-meaning advice’ or some more shouting from my side as well! Last week, I not only did not utter any unwanted words, I also remained calm deep-down. My daughter’s crying spells apart, I always get provoked easily. I seem to be improving on that area as well, though I have a long way to go. Unruffled, will I ever be?
Another good thing which has been happening is we have started reaching school on time without rushing on the way. But, there were a few days when I should have reduced my talking further while getting my daughter ready to school.
Anyway, now that both my kids are back to normal and we are all slowly catching up on our lost sleep, I hope that this week turns out to be better. Also, writing here will definitely help me remember to not do any unwanted continuous-talking.
Today, as yet another old lady started talking to me non-stop in a friendly tone, I only wished yet again that I put in the time and effort in learning at least a basic conversational Mandarin.
Right from the beginning, we have found the elders here to be extremely friendly. Be it the neighbours or random strangers in the bus/train, corridors and other public places, the elders here have always been very friendly. Saying a ‘Hi!’ or playing with the babies or stopping a crying child with just a ‘Sshh!’ uttered in mock anger or exchanging a sympathetic glance with me as I try to calm a crying child or giving kids candies, they are friendly all the time. Be it listening with rapt attention to the Chinese songs our daughter was learning in school or just striking a conversation with us. But language has always been a big barrier when it came to communicating with them since most of them do not know English. In our previous apartment, we had such a helpful neighbour, but, alas, language was the problem. We had to wait till her son came home to communicate anything important. If only I learn Chinese…
So I sit and, at first, slowly and then in a lightning speed type my previous post on Kelantan Road, all the while looking at the clock. Then, once I finish, I take a final glance at the clock – 2:43 pm. On normal days, I would have started rushing since I know I have only two minutes left to leave for school to pick up my daughter. But, today, I decide not to rush, especially, right after writing here that I will work on not rushing.
So I don’t rush and still reach the school on time. Here’s to further reducing my rushing and, more importantly, controlling my tongue even if I am rushing!
(Written in early 2016. We moved from this area in January 2017)
Sometime last week, I was walking along Rochor Canal Road carrying my son. At around 8:30 in the morning, the usually sweltering heat of Singapore was yet to reach its peak and there was an air of pleasantness to the weather. The water in the canal was still and, there in the still water, I could clearly see the reflection of the blocks/buildings of Kelantan Road – my home for the past 3.5 years in Singapore.
A post on my previous neighbourhood – Kelantan Road – in Singapore is something which I have been planning to publish for more than a year now! A while back, I found my notebook on which I had written this post last year and sat down to type this on the laptop. That’s when I saw the date and it struck me that it has been exactly 5 years since I first set foot in Singapore – July 28th, 2012! Now there is no way I am moving away from the laptop till I finish typing it fully. Stay tuned for it.
Just like every other person, weekday mornings are the craziest time for me too. The main part of the day when I do all the talking, shouting, rushing and running starts from the moment I wake up my daughter. It doesn’t stop till my son and I come back home after dropping her in school.
Having always been like ‘Jab We Met’ Kareena Kapoor who rushes and catches her train, getting ready in leisure and walking to the bus stop unhurriedly has never been something that I have done in almost the last decade! Even when I didn’t have any commitment in life or any cooking or household chore to be done! But just like Kareena, I always managed to catch the bus on time. 🙂
All through my school, there was one complaint from all the teachers – I didn’t talk at all! Anybody who knows me when I was in school would know that except for a few close friends, I hardly talked with anybody else. Any guests at home would always wonder why I never talked.
Though I changed a bit over the years from a complete introvert to, say, a semi-introvert, it was only in the last few years that I changed for the worse – of course, I didn’t stop and chat with every Tom, Dick and Harry I met, but I was suddenly using my voice all the time.
As I collected my daughter’s new uniforms for her next academic year yesterday, I felt a wave of nostalgia. Of a longing for all those happy, carefree school days. Seeing the excitement on my daughter’s face while trying out her new uniforms, I remembered my own excitement. About how the summer vacations were always synonymous with getting new uniforms, getting new school books, covering them and choosing and sticking labels on each of them. And how each one of them seemed to be an important and exciting activity to both my sister and me. We both enjoyed going to school and rarely took leave. My daughter has taken after us and hates taking even a single day leave.
The smell of crisp, new clothes and new books, the excitement among the kids as each one got to find out which ‘House’ in their school they were assigned to, the cramped up room housing the new uniforms and books, the staff busy answering the queries of one parent and helping the other one get their new uniforms – the busy atmosphere always seen during these times in schools! It did bring back a lot of pleasant memories!
Back then, we never cared about new beginnings or taking a much-needed break for rejuvenating yourself for new beginnings! Starting primary school or joining a new school or the onset of holidays were just a part of life. Nobody around you kept talking about weekend or vacation plans. Nobody felt the need to document any thoughts, memories or opinions! Was there Facebook or WhatsApp back then?!
Wishing all you wonderful women a very happy women’s day!
This March began with me pondering about a lot of things – well, it’s another fact that I do a lot of pondering nowadays about a lot of things. Call it the usual procrastination or being real busy, I just couldn’t bring myself to type these few words here the last couple of days.
I realized that I am sailing in the same boat as I was ten years ago. Back then, I wasn’t satisfied with the kind of projects that I got to work on in my office. There was always this aspiration to work on something more challenging which just wasn’t happening. I channeled all my thoughts to this blog, penned a lot about all my interests, hobbies and opinions and in the end, got not just the satisfaction of enjoying this blogging, but also made a lot of good friends and acquaintances.
Today, I have finally identified the niche area in which I want to specialize in and already have adequate work experience in it and a Masters degree too in it and above all, I am really passionate about this subject as well – Geographic Information System (GIS). I have just started hunting for something like freelancing or part-time opportunities in this field.
On the personal front, I have to tell you that it is no cake walk managing two young kids and doing all the household work too in parallel. The constant stress of having to clean up the vessels in the ever-piling sink full of dishes and the specks of dirt and dust everywhere waiting to be cleaned up and not to forget the bathrooms which require regular cleaning up has only resulted in my stress levels in the recent times being on the increasing side. Ironically, despite being a stay-at-home-mom, I would say that I just don’t get enough time to play and have fun with my kids.
In the coming months, I am seriously going to practice two things – improving my patience levels and not letting my stress rub off on others around me. I also hope to soon find something related to GIS to work on.
As I start my quest for bringing about some positive changes in my life, it is to my blog that I again turn to. In the last few years, every time this domain was up for renewal, I kept having a thought of not renewing it. The next few months will be my last try in attempting to revive my blogging, failing which I will definitely shut down this blog.