Last year, I did a revival of sorts to this blog when I had a restriction imposed on my talking. Though I am giving this update here 10 months late, my voice did get back to normal and I revived my singing, albeit slowly from a few minutes at a stretch and bid adieu to the restrictions on talking too. But I continued to be mindful of how I was using my voice as much as possible, till a few weeks back.
As I sang at a stretch for more than an hour after more than a year this Navaratri, it made me very emotional and it struck me that I was making a big mistake by unintentionally getting back to my old ways. Yes, I still continue to maintain chunks of silence after I unnecessarily talk lots or shout. But didn’t I reap the rewards of being calm, not raising my voice and talking less? Why am I letting the stress arising out of trivialities of life affect me once again? So what if my kid refuses to eat or the crazy morning rush keeps making an appearance frequently while getting ready to school? These and those moments when I feel frustrated at having to do the dishes (the one chore I continue to hate) or when all thoughts on what is it that I am doing here washing the dishes when I could have been writing a Java code or visualizing some place on ArcMap in the comforts of an air-conditioned office trigger off the impatience in me full-fledged.
The clumsy-me had a fall in August and I ended up with a bad pain on my knee. In retrospection, with it went all my exercise routine down the drain and the pain and the frustration at not being able to walk at my usual pace and the irritation directed at self for falling yet again triggered off the irritable mood once again. The irritable mood has still not fully gone and so is the pain.
I realize what a great outlet this blog was to let it all out last year. As I sit down, think through and kick off my mindfulness routine yet again, I also hope to write here more about whether I am succeeding or failing in my pursuit.
Today morning was a success since I told myself that I was going to remain relaxed come what may, because, as I always say, in the larger context of life, the everyday trivialities just don’t matter.