Murphy always strikes everytime I take a resolution of any sort. Here I was hoping to revive the mindfulness routine when Murphy’s law struck in full force within a few hours. S had a full-blown tantrum that evening right after coming back from school. At the end of a crying spell of any sort, which while happening will always look like it will never end, the child looks calm and, in fact, looks refreshed. But what about the parent?
From breaking one’s head at that time to think of anything to stop the tantrum and calm the child or finding it tough to maintain inner calm while the crying and yelling continue to blow out of control or pondering it all over once again trying to figure out on when and where I went wrong, it is exhaustion of sorts that I always feel. Imagine hitting a hat trick with this happening for three days in succession with the third day featuring an epic meltdown of sorts right in the play area in front of all friends, acquaintances and people whom you meet every single day! Embarrassment, helplessness, anger directed towards self at how, even after so many years, I am still not able to handle it ALL – you name it and I was feeling it all! Later that evening, S was completely calm and relaxed. She had finally let out all the tiredness of the last couple of weeks arising from all the excitement.
Just when I thought that I was done with all the crying from S, along came the icing on the cake from R. Now, he is one boy who is crazy about cars, or rather, all sorts of vehicles, robots and superheroes. And he always is choosy, going in only for specific toys which he will continue to cherish long after buying it. I was looking forward to being in the relaxing company of a good friend after all the exhaustion of the previous few days and took little R with the friend and her child to a fair/carnival. Fairs in Singapore are all about fun and interesting activities for kids and freebies. FREEBIES – that is where it all started. He really wanted a superhero soft toy at a stall, but he didn’t get it.
By now, considering the number of fairs that I have taken him to, one must have expected him to get used to luck, disappointment, winning, losing and all that. But, when the toy in question is a superhero, is it even fair to expect understanding from a 3-year old?! He really was in a big disappointment that he couldn’t get that toy! R had what is akin to an epic meltdown of sorts for his level, crying for an hour just for that superhero toy! While he is no match for his sister when it comes to tantrums, of late, his crying skill seems to be improving.
The last one week in itself has been similar to hitting a jackpot of sorts when it came to the children’s moods. Yesterday, by the time it was evening, I felt completely drained. In a miracle of sorts, both the children slept earlier than usual. That was how tired they were.
As for me, I ended up with a splitting headache and just couldn’t sleep. At 4 am, with a cup of hot coffee in hand, I sat down in front of the computer, reading random news. Then I decided to write this here to track my progress on maintaining patience. PATIENCE – just what is that??!