You know how Google Photos (I used it a lot more frequently when it was still Picasa and there was no WhatsApp.) often throws up those ‘Rediscover this day’ photos, don’t you? Those photos from the past belonging to the same day but a different year. It was one of those albums from 2009 which popped up sometime in late March that had all my erstwhile interests rekindled in full swing, reminding me that all those dreams and interests were still there inside me in all fervour. The photos were from a trip to Mysore that I had gone to with my friend.

And dominant among all those was the wish to explore different places – be it in Singapore itself or elsewhere in the world. I also realized how much I was missing visiting all the old temples in Southern India – all architecture marvels and divinity personified.

My husband and I share the love for going on long walks and in the initial months after moving to Singapore, we did so much of walking and explored a major part of the roads, lanes and places of interests in Singapore by foot. With just one infant to carry, we could easily walk in a good pace and have a good conversation and get a good workout done too.

But, nowadays, we rarely go for long walks and no longer walk in our own fast pace and have had to slow down. I, especially being the SAHM, rarely get the chance to walk in my usual speed since I either have to carry my toddler or slow down at regular intervals to talk with my children.

I didn’t realize how much I was missing walking at my own pace until I went for a solo walk a couple of weeks ago. A brisk 30-minute walk later, I was feeling refreshed and I also got to work on my mindfulness, relaxation and all that. It also struck me that it has been about 6 months since I stopped carrying my son and going for a long walk on a daily basis to make him sleep. That walk used to be my time to think through things and relax.

I realized how much I was missing my favourite activity of walking and have since revived walking on a daily basis for a continuous chunk of time, if not at a very brisk pace, at least at a reasonably fast pace. We also went for a few long walks recently with the kids enthusiastically running along.

Another change in the routine is my son suddenly having lost his interest in running to and fro the daughter’s school and the bus stop and asking me to carry him. I am forced to carry him on the onward walk to school lest we get delayed. But the point is at least that negligible distance of running that I was doing on a daily basis is now almost not there at all. Here’s to more walking and becoming more active!

The past few weeks have been crazy. A major part of March saw both my children being down with cold and fever which translated to plenty of sleepless nights and unfinished meals. While April was definitely better than March, it also saw the reopening of school for my daughter after a ten day break.

The first couple of weeks of the new academic year saw us struggling to get back to our morning routine after the previous month full of half-a-day school and study holidays and annual vacation. The mornings were becoming stressful, there were shouting and yelling too and plenty of naughty acts by the little one too. We seemed to be at least 4-5 minutes late to school everyday.

Then after a round of self-counselling, I started becoming a lot more calmer in the mornings and now for almost three weeks now, we have been reaching school well on time. My daughter and I have almost bid adieu to our morning stressful moments.

Forget about me-time, there is not even relaxing moments on most days. With my husband having a crazy, hectic schedule at work, the kids are fully only with me for most of the day and I can see the three of us getting on each other’s nerves every time the same naughty acts get repeated or the same little safety rule not being followed or the same refusal from me for telling a very lengthy bedtime story at the end of a crazy, tiring day.

Even as I refuse to play or tell a story or scold them for yet again leaving the tap open or forgetting to put the markers in their place, I also feel guilty – guilt at not being able to handle it all in a better way.

Recently, sitting at Kailash Parbat waiting for our food to be served, my topmost concern seemed to be to make sure that my naughty little one didn’t end up pushing or breaking the serveware. Despite being offered a nice, cozy seat and served tasty food in a restaurant with such a nice ambience, I just didn’t seem to be fully relaxed.

Maybe it is these crazy days or those physically tiring days or maybe the lack of intellectually stimulating activities or maybe that annoying worrying habit of mine which surfaces way too many times in a day when my child walks at the very edge of the platform or runs down the stairs all alone or refuses to eat a proper meal all through the day. It is time I started relaxing a bit more.

This Women’s Day, I wish the world becomes a safer place for women, I wish for a day the men respect the women in their lives (if it doesn’t exist at home, how do you expect them to show respect to other women?), I hope for a day when women don’t have to say #metoo

Alas it will take years or ages for things to change for good. Meanwhile, ladies, let’s rock on and enjoy our lives, even as we juggle several powerful roles on a daily basis.

Reminiscence – This is probably one of my most favourite words.

munnum idhu pole pudhu anubhavam
kanden ena sollum padi ninaivillai
innum edhirkaalatthilum vazhi illai maravene

Every time I sing/listen to those lovely lines from the song Rasali, I only love them even more! What beautiful words to describe those cherishable moments of life. Those reminiscence-worthy moments of life!

At this juncture, I also remember one of my favourite sayings – ‘Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away!’ It’s only in our hands on how we carve out every moment of our life to be.

Last week, there was this night when good, deep sleep was eluding me for quite a while. When I finally managed to doze off, the little one who was down with fever was wide awake and by the time he fell asleep again, the daughter was awake complaining of leg pain. The rest of the night had them alternately waking up and during those quiet moments of the night, I was deeply pondering about how I am loving this crazy schedule that my life is filled with.

I don’t complain about what mundane routine that I am having, since there’s nothing mundane about it except for the dishwashing chore, talking about which, as I already wrote here, with either of my kids giving me company as I wash the vessels, I am not finding that too as boring as I usually do.

Believe me when I tell you that almost every single day passes by very quickly. The mazhalai talks of the son, the conversations with my daughter, a naughty act or two, running sprees on the road (I am on a run all the time with my little one), outdoor play times, the sibling bonding and fighting spells, book reading sessions, saraLi varisai singing, unwinding with ARR’s songs on YouTube, pausing to listen to a bird’s call or talking in hushed-up voices as my children and I try to observe a bird from up-close, catching up with an episode or two of Peppa Pig with the kids (I personally like the happy family filled with loads of laughter portrayed by Peppa and her family) making dishes with loads of vegetables on a daily basis, keeping the little one busy with all his colourful mini cars and catching with the day’s news, working on my daughter’s spellings and vocabulary which I immensely enjoy doing since I have been a lover of words and spellings ever since my teens, scribbling and writing A to Z with my little one – the days are full with all the activities that happens at every home with kids.

Even what is perceived as a routine drop to and pick-up from school has nothing routine about it with my little one adding all sorts of entertainment to it by running off to the play area and sitting atop the slide refusing to budge one bit or removing his shoes, throwing it and running off in exactly the opposite direction, all the while getting my daughter and me all tensed out or all confused depending on the day’s mood.

Yes, there are days when I navigate through colourful toys of different sizes (did I tell you I have had enough of Kinder Joy toys??) scattered all over the house and the books and papers lying everywhere, muttering an irritated word or two (or quite a few too!) asking my kids to help me get things organized. But, with no lack of adventure and all sorts of fun, laughter and naughtiness, it is in the chaos that I thrive.