Today evening’s bus journey made me do so much serious thinking that I am writing a third post on it! When I was in the midst of my serious thinking about life and memories, a group of 3-4 small kids laughing, giggling, waving their hands and shouting tata, Bye to all of us in the bus caught my attention. I smiled back in reply to their Byes when I experienced yet another what I call Swades moment (moments which makes you go through what Mohan Bhargav/Sharukh goes through in the scene in Swades where he buys the water from a poor boy selling it in the station and drinks it). Those kids, clad in torn clothes, were standing outside what were obviously their homes – small huts. A wave of questions passed through my mind – Imagine what we were doing when we were of the age of those kids. Will these kids go to school? Here I am enjoying myself, listening to music, sitting comfortably inside the bus. What about those kids? How will they manage to live in their houses when it’s raining heavily? Will they ever get to live in real homes? So many unanswered questions! Those kids unaware of any worry in life continued waving with innocent joy and happiness on their faces even as my mind tried seeking answers to these unanswered questions.
I guess I have done enough of serious thinking for a day. Don’t you agree? đ
pacchis paise keliyae ek glass pani –
Yeah even i have wondered the same way. I dont see that innocent joy in them .. i see it as an ignorant smile …
I seriously hate their parents for what they did to the child. .. its bad – Im no way going to step down to help – as i accept I am not that kind of a person … I dont know if i can do anything about it !!
I would blame their parents for what they did !! … shame on them !! Why dont politicians ior actors or whoever can reach out to them let these parents know tha they make mistakes …
Im sure those parents are not reading our blogs to understand this!!
Seriously pitiable state of affairs. But, I guess, so much has been talked and written about this everywhere. The only thing is there is no perceptible change in their lives. Yes, parents are to be blamed no doubt. Innocent joy vs ignorant smile, hmm… good point. And Aparna, good that you think like this. Nice to read such posts which make people think. Keep writing.
Sathej
Well,thats the thing thats now gone overboard…population,poverty..we really cant do anything about it really…we can perhaps help one or two families..
let us accept the fact ,till the population is brought under control poverty will stay..perhaps it will get worse..
I donno why ppl want to give birth when they cannot afford or do enough take care of their children properly. Why is this? Are contraceptives that costly or ppl are not aware of the ill effects of bad parenting?
The idea of having children shudn’t be a selfish act. I mean, it shudn’t treated as an investment to ripe during the old age of the parents. It shud be considered as an opportunity to contribute to the soceity & every parent shud feel responsible in bringing up the child.
And I don’t think such a thought wud creep-in with education. Some spirutual (not religious) enlightenment can do this.
Oh my god! Poor people shouldn’t give birth to kids, giving birth to children as contributing to the society, poverty because of population–what thoughts.
What do we want India to be–a Fascist state where the govt dictates when and how and why people are going to have children? Since when did we start equating being wealthy as having the right to have kids? Educated people writing highly intelligent blogs coming up with such thoughts–I shudder to think what the unenlightened think like. What makes one think that a poor father doesn’t care for his kid? He does as much as he can, and much better than anybody else can care for his kid. The poor mother loves her child as much as the rich mother, if not more. Who are we to tell them that they are doing a disservice to their kids? Who are we to deprive them of the emotional experience of bringing up a child? Why should the poor bear the burnt of population control? Let’s make the rich people go childless, and bear the cost of education of poor kids (and individually, not through some govt tax scheme)–now that is going to redistribute wealth, and alleviate poverty. But THAT sounds like a radical anarchist idea now, doesn’t it?
My god, poor shouldn’t have kids–heights of elitism. If that was going to remove poverty, why don’t just kill off all the poor people? Na rahega baans, na bajegi baansuri.
On a tangent, population does NOT beget poverty, poor economic policy does. Population is always an asset, it’s bad policies that hinder India from realizing the potential of its populace.
Sorry Aparna for the rant. But such shoddy thinking just ticks me off violently.
Daneel,
Thanks for having made my job easier! đ I didn’t want to reply to the comments unless I could frame what I wanted to tell in a better way. Now, I don’t have anything more to say.
>itâs bad policies that hinder India from realizing the potential of its populace
Absolutely agree with you!
@Aparna,
What ho! I kind of felt embarrassed after that rare outburst.
Daneel,
đ I may not have said it so strongly like you. But, poor people shouldnât give birth to kids is something that I don’t agree with completely.
@Daneel
You got me wrong. I didn’t bring in Rich/Poor discussion. All I wanted to say is that the parents have to be responsible in bringing up the child.
There are cases where parents dumping their babies in dustbins. They eventually endup in homages. This is not because they can’t afford to rear the child. (there are several govt institutions which offer free treatment & constulation) Its becos, they are not responsible enough.
Getting an education is a child’s right. If a parent can’t offer (or make ways to offer) it, then whats the point in giving birth? I’ll say its an act of selfishness. Do spend some time & think for a while on this. You might realize much more. đ
And I’m not talking arrogant with money. I come from a poor family too. My grand dad was a porter lifting cement sacks on his bear back from rail wagons. My dad had worked to check & tear tickets in a cinema hall. But my folks have taken responsibility & did the best they could do to their children.
@Ranjhith,
“why ppl want to give birth when they cannot AFFORD or do enough take care of their children properly”(emphasis mine)–honey, you did bring the rich/poor component.
Anyway, my reply was not aimed only at you.
Your personal story is totally besides the point, as humbling and exciting as it is. I appreciate your folks that they did the best they could for you, and I hope you will one day think well and understand that all the parents try to do the same. Exceptions are always there, everywhere.
Regarding people dumping kids in dustbin, remember that abortion is illegal in India. That is another topic altogether, but people may be forced to rear an unwanted child because of this. Or the best way out, dump in a dustbin or wherever in the hope that it makes its way to some “home”(not homage) that will take care of the kid.
Again, who are WE to decide that education is a child’s right, and that too to be provided by the parents? Again, who are we to decide what level of education the child is entitled to? Your idea of a good education might be a college degree, a poor person’s idea of a good education might be primary school, which is supposed to be free according to all the promises the government makes. Unfortunately, the poor guy finds out the truth too late, when the kid actually goes to school. This is just an addendum to your point about education, which more or less makes a little sense. As long as we are talking about education for poor, note that primary schooling for poor people in India is effectively a government monopoly, and we all know how they suck at it. For more on this, read this excellent essay. http://indiauncut.com/iublog/article/fund-schooling-not-schools/
Point being, we do not have even any moral authority to decide who should/shouldn’t have kids.
@ Aparna,
I seem to have confused you nice and proper. Your language is usually not so convoluted :). Relax. This comment page will probably be alive for a few days more.
Makkal manasula nermai poiduthu. That is the reason for all the things. Discpline varanum ellor kittayum. Code of conduct irukkanum. Ithellam nadanthathaan intha mathiri problems ellam pogum. Education system should be changed to teach good practices and lessons of life rather than just being a way of learning to make money. If that poor child learn to be truthful for most of the periods of his life, definitely he will come up and any rich guy can be poor if he is not truthful. System-liye prachanai irukkm pothu we cant blame a single person.
Ennathan economic policy konduvandhalum this situation will prevail, though population is one reasonf or this, but cant agree with the point of poor parents should not give birth to child.
@Daneel
> cannot AFFORD or do enough
Afford needn’t necessarily mean to deal with “finance”. (Chk: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/afford). As an example, ppl can say like, “I cannot afford a meeting now”. If I had talked abt financial affordability in rearing a child, I wudn’t hav said anything abt the cost of contraceptives. In case, the majority of the readers here think different, please re-phrase my sentence so as not to mean “financial affordability”.
> all the parents try to do the same
There are parents by accident. Who can’t abort pregnancy & didn’t want to dump on birth. They think babies are god’s boon. Such parents don;t feel very responsible in giving anything & everything to their child. Just count the number of parents who whud want their children to work & not to go school.
> Regarding people dumping kids in dustbin
> remember that abortion is illegal in India.
How abt precautions? Pills? Or if u don’t know what to do & also don’t want to contain it, why do u want to do it at the 1st place?
> dump in a dustbin or wherever in the hope that it makes its
> way to some âhomeâ(not homage) that
Comeon, If they hav good intentions, they shud find a better place to dump & not dustbins, where crows/street dogs/scavengers group.
> who are WE to decide that education is a childâs right,
> and that too to be provided by the parents?
Why not we, if you cud take up the freedom to express yourself? What do you want that child to do? To work? To wander the streets? Don’t limit your thoughts. Why don’t u think education is a child’s right?
And I didn’t say anything abt the level of education, each child is entitled to. The power to think & understand your surroundings (people/places/things) comes with education.
> we do not have even any moral authority to decide
> who should/shouldnât have kids.
I’m not recommending my ideas to amend as a laws. And there is no law to preach good behavior.
Aparna notes that those kids were wearing torn clothes. Do you think any responsible parent would allow their kid to wear torn cloths? Why don’t they sew it & let them wear? If you way that they cannot afford (finiancially) to buy a needle, I wud ask, don’t they know that rearing a child is much more than just paying up for a needle? Why do they need a child, if they can’t even buy a needle?
All I wanted is that the parents shud to take care of their children well. They shudn’t consider their sons/daughters to be a burden to ruin their life. If a parent (be it a poor/rich) think otherwise, may he/she not experiment with lives.
@Ranjhith,
Let’s forget about AFFORD. I accept that printed words sometimes can confuse, and if your usage of afford was supposed to mean the same as “I cannot afford this meeting now”, well that’s that.
Just to reiterate, my point is we should not decide/judge/opine if a person–regardless of one’s financial position– can have a child or not.
Your point seems to be that people who turn out to be irresponsible parents would have been better off not giving birth to children. Unfortunately, it can only be judged retrospectively, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
Our points seem orthogonal at this point. If that’s indeed the case, we seem to neither agree nor disagree on nothing. The intersection of our ideas being zero, it’s not worth taking it forward here. I would be happy to discuss our ideas offline.
Thought I might as well reply to all the comments separately now.
Ranjhith/Daneel,
Peace đ
Sreekrishnan,
>i see it as an ignorant smile âŚ
Maybe yeah itâs ignorant smile all right.
>I seriously hate their parents for what they did to the child
>I would blame their parents for what they did !! ⌠shame on them !!
This is the point that I donât agree with completely. Agreed itâs the parents who should take good care of their child. But, the parents will try to provide their child with the best comfort that they can afford to give. No responsible parent would want to see their kids suffer and they will try to the best of their ability to ensure that it doesnât happen. And yeah itâs not as though the parents donât feel sad on seeing their kids in a state like this. The only thing for which I would say, you can blame the parents is if they donât send their kids to school or if they are not working (to the best of their capability) and earning money for supporting their family.
>Why dont politicians ior actors or whoever can reach out to them let these parents know tha they make mistakes âŚ
What mistake? Again the mistake that I would say the parents MIGHT be doing is either not sending their kids to school or not working hard enough to earn money for their family. The one thing that all those who can reach out to them can do is to make the parents understand the need to provide education to their children and also help them financially so that they can have provide proper food, shelter and also education for their child. Just imagine if the parents somehow struggle and provide education for their kids today, in some years the kids will give to their parents all the comforts that the parents were not able to give them. đ At the end of the day, the kid is not going to blame his/her parents for not providing decent home/clothes. On the contrary, you will have kids who make their parents proud by having reached a state in their life economically which their parents might not have imagined happening. I know this is all easier said than done. But, whatâs the harm in hoping that it will happen someday?
Only if the Govt. properly implements all its schemes for the welfare of poor people and the selfish and corrupt Govt. officials stop thinking about the ways and means in which they can make more money by âstealingâ whatâs not their money rightfully, will we be able to see a perceptible change in the lives of the poor!
Sathej,
Hmmm.
>Yes, parents are to be blamed no doubt.
Already expressed my views on this đ
Arvind,
Yeah population is indeed one of the major reasons why it is becoming difficult by the day to reduce the number of people below poverty line.
Ranjhith,
> birth when they cannot afford or do enough take care of their children properly.
I am sure every parent will try their best to their capacity to take good care of their kids. Since you say you are not talking about the responsibility of poor parents in bringing up their children but the parents in general, I must say that that is a different issue.
> it shudnât treated as an investment to ripe during the old age of the parents.
You think people give birth to kids for this reason?! On a lighter note, kaalam irukkara nelamaila yaarayum nambave mudiyadhu including your own kids. When thatâs the case, you think someone would be foolish enough to give birth to a kid thinking that they will take care of them during their old age? If thatâs happening, you wonât see so many old age homes cropping up everywhere everyday. But, this is a different issue altogether that I donât want to talk about. I canât hate enough all those who consider their parents to be burden and donât take care of their parents in their old age! đ
> It shud be considered as an opportunity to contribute to the soceity
I donât even know what to say for this!
> There are cases where parents dumping their babies in dustbins.
This is beyond the scope of my post đ
> Getting an education is a childâs right. If a parent canât offer (or make ways to offer) it, then whats the point in giving birth?
Agreed it is a childâs right. But did you think why those parents are not able to provide education for their kids?
Daneel,
> Again, who are WE to decide that education is a childâs right
Like Ranjhith, I too ask why canât we? đ
> Unfortunately, the poor guy finds out the truth too late, when the kid actually goes to school.
Thatâs so true.
Sami,
> Makkal manasula nermai poiduthu. That is the reason for all the things.
Exactly!
Ranjhith,
Why did you even start discussing about people dumping kids and the issues related to it here? đ
> Do you think any responsible parent would allow their kid to wear torn cloths?
For all you know, had the parents not been responsible, the child might not have got even those clothes to wear. Unfortunately, thatâs the pathetic situation prevailing. đ
> All I wanted is that the parents shud to take care of their children well.
Agreed they should. But, when you keep talking about poor people and say that people shouldnât give birth to kids when they canât take care of them, we end up interpreting that you are indirectly saying that poor people shouldnât give birth to kids if they canât provide food/clothes/shelter to them. As I told you on that day itself, there are so many rich kids who end up as rich, spoilt brats due to their parents not bringing them up well. So, I guess as per you, even the parents of those kids should also not have given birth to them. If all the parents took good care of their kids and brought them up well, then this world wonât be the same place anymore. đ
Daneel,
> Our points seem orthogonal at this point.
Couldnât agree more with this đ