The Last Minute Rush of Energy

Right from the very first time I travelled to India from Singapore, a whole range of thoughts, emotions, ponderings and what-nots take over me just a few days before I leave, with it all reaching the max on the day of leaving. Among all the thoughts, apart from the cliched ‘How did so many months pass by so soon?’ or ‘Did I do at least one note-worthy thing in all these days?’, one dominant feeling that takes over me is guilt at not keeping the house in a state that I like.

Am neither a perfectionist at all instances nor am I at my brisk max at all times. I often hear others around me justifying the level of disorganization my house is in, attributing it to me being totally tied up with my children all day everyday. Yes the days are crazy yet filled with several fun-filled and cherishable, cute moments. But I definitely wouldn’t say that I can use that as an excuse, at least not anymore.

When I am about to pack up a few dresses, it strikes me how better they will all look if only I had ironed them. When I sit to search for something inside a cupboard, all those well-organized Ikea catalog photos and all those Apartment Therapy and Houzz houses come to mind. Forget about all those online world, my own home in Madras has always been very clean and very well-organized.

A look around the kitchen reminds me of how I am still not able to organize it all in a much better way all thanks to frequent visits by cockroaches. As I see the toys strewn around, I tell myself that I should find out how to teach my children how to keep it all organized.

And in the midst of all this guilt comes the sudden burst of energy that always comes when a deadline is fast approaching and I set out to organize all the cupboards, leaving them behind in a much better state than it was. That was what I had been doing today. Thus, I feel good and contented, despite realizing that minimalism will never be something that I can embrace. We have way too many things and toys at home.

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